Wednesday, 23 May 2012

How to Take Back Your Hurtful Words

Have you ever said something offensive unintentionally & wished you could take your words back? You know how awkward it feels when our tongue become rebellious against the social wisdom of mind- it does very often. Even with the best of intent to be politically correct, you say things which could be hurtful,biased or objectionable. You may ignore it & hope no one notices. (Some times it does, for sure!) Or, you can work on a strategy for recovery of those words.As many people know and will agree, it is easy to bring moon on earth then to take your words back.Its not about taking words back but to control damage in exact sense.

“Taking back words” involves accepting your mistake, sincerely apologizing, & then moving on in a more positive outlook. This skill is underutilized for most of the people. When things go wrong,many shy away from trying to recover, are afraid things may become worse, don’t know what to do. The good news is taking back word is possible(Up to an extent!!Not exactly the words), not difficult to do, & has a big payoff.

When you are ready to take your hurtful words back, it means you are acknowledging your mistake Not only to others but to your inner conscience(Which is far more important)– When you have unintentionally demeaned, discounted, or hurt others.
Lets see how i can help you in controlling the done damage.
The process of taking your words back involves 6 quick steps & takes 30 seconds or less.And it is painless.

1. Accept the Feedback – If you have said something objectionable, I quite sure you will get some kind of feedback.What ever it is show some sign that you are open to criticism- Listen patiently & thank the the person for the feedback.

2. Acknowledge the mistake & Its Impact – Most important thing is to recognize and accept your mistake and negative impact of your statement or behavior on the other person, regardless of your what your intent was.

3. Apologize – Say “I’m sorry” or “I apologize,” and do it sincerely.Some people look fake while apologizing and they are easily caught( I hate them)the reason for this is the depth of their sincerity.Feel what you have felt if someone else have said those words to you. 

4. Ask Questions for Clarification – Please don`t start clarifying your self.If you don’t understand the feedback you’re given, ask questions for Crystal clarity.

5. Adjust/Change – Show in some manner that you are not going to repeat the mistake.State/demonstrate what you will do differently, Show some clear sign that you’ve accepted the feedback & You are not going to repeat offense.

6. Move Forward – Taking back your words is a quick process. You don’t need to linger on it for very long.Don`t irritate the person by apologizing again and again.  Move on once you have apologized sincerely(Its a must!!) No need to repeat your feelings because feeling can`t be repeated again in the same manner. 

Of these, Acceptance of your mistake & apologizing is most powerful. In its simplest form, Is it n`t sounds like this:“Thanks for telling me. I’m sorry.

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